Fantasy Know-How

Say you’re a Legend Seeker. Say again you’ve strayed too near a portal and have been sucked into one of the far realms you’ve only viewed though ink and parchment. Firstly, to be honest, you’ve only a 1 in 10 chance of surviving the first five minutes because, despite the supposed randomness of the portals’ times and positions, many of them have developed a nasty habit of landing first-time leapers into the middle of a battle or into a peaceful looking situation which is about to explode into an assassination or ambush.

Still, if you survive long enough to exchange introductions, you might have a chance at living out the natural extent of your life. To improve your odds, here are a collection of handy tips and definitions which could very well save your life or at least lessen embarrassing incidences in your hosting realm.

-Brought to you by your very own realm leaper, Elena the Scollmistress

Mysterious pasts:

  • Learning your past isn’t want you thought it was or may not be a good thing; if your past has been hidden, it’s normally for a good reason. Something along the lines of ‘you’ll die if you don’t keep this information secret’ or ‘you really don’t want to know’.
  • Of course, you really do what to know once you’ve discovered the mystery. But remember, sometimes the mystery is to protect you. Sometimes to protect those around you. But mainly because no one knows anything. So don’t get too excited.
  • Especially because there are a very small number of princes and prophesied deliverers, and a much great amount of waifs and pitied orphans. So make sure you’re ready for the truth before demanding it of your elders.
  • And, since you’re sure to demand information no matter what warnings are given you, do it subtlety. Because, on the off chance that your past is important, it’s probably been hidden due to surrounding enemies. And it would do you no good if they discover your identity and kill you before you can even learn the danger you are in.
  • Finally, whatever you learn or don’t learn about your past, don’t let it define you. It’s up to you to make your own life; your actions are not dependent on your past…well, unless there is a prophecy, but even then you’d better make your actions count. Rarely do prophecies mean what one thinks they mean…but that’s a topic for another day.

Dragons: Not to be tampered with, no matter their size. A few can speak, most are very smart, and all are unpredictable.

Dragons:

  • Beware coming between a dragon and his horde. And never, ever, try to take even the smallest fragment from it. Whether the beast collects gold, gems, stones, or even broken weapons, they know each piece and whatever you take will be missed!
  • Though only few dragons still talk, most understand human speech and the majority of dragons are very smart. They also tend to be sensitive about names so call them by their full titles and don’t, I repeat, do not, call them monsters or beasts if you value your limbs. As for the category of lizard; say that word and it will probably be the last thing you ever do say.
  • Never assume anything. The smallest dragons can be the most furious, but color, sight, smell, size, and intelligence shift drastically from dragon to dragon. Some are mounts. Some even pull carts. In other realms, they are their own lords. Treat them with distant respect until you know where they stand in the social powers of the realm and land you are in.
  • If you’re offered a special position on your first dragon hunt, refuse immediately. Some cultures enjoy breaking in the unwary by placing them as bait for the dragon before moving into ambush.
  • If you see a dragon in the wild, keep your weapons concealed and remain still. Most dragons will ignore you. If they approach, hold out your hands to show you are peaceful. If they don’t kill you instantly, then you are safe unless you offend them. If they are after your blood…well, I bid you a fond goodbye. You’ll need plenty of training, a magical weapon, or a good deal of luck and the element of surprise to take down a dragon on your own.

Swords: Go sturdy, not flashy. In battle, a leather grip won’t slip in your hand like some gilt bejeweled hilt might.

Magical Blades:

  • Not all magic is equal, determine what power has gone into giving your blade its qualities, how long it will last, and what terms and conditions apply to its use.
  • Confirm the quality of your blade. A sword which can pierce dragon scales is all very well, but if it breaks when in combat with a mere human enemy, you may want to buy elsewhere.
  • Weigh the usefulness of the blade’s power with the dangers it may present. A sword which glows in an enemy’s presence could be useful. It could also be a signpost, revealing you when you’d prefer to stay hidden.
  • Beware old men carrying marvelous blades and offering cryptic futures. If they try to sell you the blade, they’re after your gold. If they try to give you the blade, it means it’s probably stolen and you’ll end up with an arrow in the chest or a sword in the gut before the day is out.
  • Finally, don’t ever, ever lay all your plans on a magical blade. They are notoriously unreliable and have a great tendency to be stolen, mislaid, or stuck in stones.