Category: Writing Humor

Every writer has dreams, and not just the ‘get my book made into the next big movie’ dream but the more down to earth dreams. The ones where we want a turret room in a castle with surround sound music or a telepathic device to record our dreams. So, just for fun, I decided to compile a list of the things (with variations) that every writer would love:

• A castle, built into a mountainside with a lake and green valley spreading below. And excellent wifi. Of course.
• A tower room, the walls coated with weapons, flags, and maps from my world and books.
• Then, of course, I’d want a writing room. A long room, where I could pace. The walls would be covered with pictures of characters, character profiles, great plotlines, interconnected with silk string, and small computer screens interspersed between them for quick research.
• On the topic of research, I’d want a research room too, with a wall of screens where I could open a hundred different tabs and scroll through a dozen pages at once.
• All of these grand rooms branch off my main writing room. A simple desk and computer in the middle of a cozy room. Candles on the walls, as well as scribbled notes. Oh, and the aforementioned surround sound music.
• There would be a library too, of course, with several great chairs, a fireplace, a window seat, and books covering the walls. This would also be my bedroom.
• Moving from the topic of lodging to technology, a dream recorder would be great for ideas.
• As well as a thought recorder.
• And a telepathic keyboard that writes out a scene just as we imagine it instead of making us labor word through word.
• A visual storyboard would be nice too. One that would play our story in color, with dramatic music in the background.
• Food. A stash of chocolate would be grand, as well as ice cream and cheesecake. Yogurt too, since one ought to eat something healthy. And fruit. Like strawberries and blueberries.
• Some writers would also include coffee. Or tea. I’d prefer hot chocolate and pink lemonade.
• Then there are the baths. Hot tubs and showers and whirlpools for brainstorming.
• Also an endless supply of pens and paper. Notebooks and notecards. Envelopes and bookmarks.
• And… costumes. Ranger costumes. Futuristic dress. Swords and bows and guns and daggers. Because sharp and shiny things should be acquired at every chance one gets.
• Finally, one needs other writers. Just a few. Good friends, all with their own chambers and a central meeting room for when they want to interact with others.

If you could choose one thing from this list, what would it be? What sorts of things would you add to this list?