I was going to write a nice, clever article about how I can coach you in writing and offer all this cool stuff.
I woke up this morning and decided that was boring and no one cares anyway
So here’s a post about how to write a novel according to Avengers: Endgame.
Nothing major, but if you haven’t seen Endgame, view at your own risk
The dramatic opening
Trying to explain your story without info-dumping
Discovering your characters
When you are try to explain something using characters who already know the information
Your characters at the first plot point
Telling them it will get worse
Moping before the midpoint
Ready or not: the midpoint
Striding away from the midpoint
When your characters start liking each other
Facing characters after the third plot point
Gearing up for the climax
In the middle of the climax
Add a touch of humor
And ‘the end’
Everyone talks about not writing cliche stories. Not writing tropes or things everyone else does.
Want to go against the wind and do it anyway? Look no further.
If you apply everything in this article, you’re sure to have a *coughs* masterpiece.
Here goes everything:
I did one of these a while back and decided to do another one.
Gifs and writing humor and all the rest. So buckle up. Here is an account of the author interaction with characters according to Loki.
Writing is hard work and we all need inspiration sometimes.
Today I give you writing affirmation for every occasion, from Aragorn, to William Wallace, to hobbits.
Writing is a funny thing. It can be exhausting. It can be lonely. And you also get to do the most random things or have an excuse to think the most random things, all in the name of your craft.
So today, with the help of a number of friends from Realm Makers, I present to you a non-exhaustive list of ‘you know you are a writer when…’ complete with my own sarcastic responses when I feel the need.
Kirin, umm, acquired a handbook not long ago. More like a pamphlet, giving tips to assassins both about their jobs and of what to do to occupy the times in between.
Disclaimer: if you’re reading this, you’re probably some young idiot who thinks he can take on the world and get paid to do it. Or you’ve some sort of broken past with nothing to lose. Or maybe you just like the money (which is decent, I admit. If you can keep it). All this to say, if you’re serious about being an assassin, chances are you’re going to die. Not yet, unless you’re really stupid. Maybe not for years. But sooner or later you’ll start a fight you can’t win. Or some vengeance stricken family will hunt you down. Or you’ll become so dangerous your own kind turns on you. If you can enjoy life with that shadow on your future, read on. If not, go find some other occupation, like candle-making or wool-carding.
As writers, we suffer (or laugh) our way through a number of questions, comments, and looks.
So I decided to grace a number of questions with my own sarcastic answers.
Things I’ve been asked (in various ways):
Every writer has dreams, and not just the ‘get my book made into the next big movie’ dream but the more down to earth dreams. The ones where we want a turret room in a castle with surround sound music or a telepathic device to record our dreams. So, just for fun, I decided to compile a list of the things (with variations) that every writer would love:
- A castle, built into a mountainside with a lake and green valley spreading below. And excellent wifi. Of course.
- A tower room, the walls coated with weapons, flags, and maps from my world and books.
- Then, of course, I’d want a writing room. A long room, where I could pace. The walls would be covered with pictures of characters, character profiles, great plotlines, interconnected with silk string, and small computer screens interspersed between them for quick research.
- On the topic of research, I’d want a research room too, with a wall of screens where I could open a hundred different tabs and scroll through a dozen pages at once.
- All of these grand rooms branch off my main writing room. A simple desk and computer in the middle of a cozy room. Candles on the walls, as well as scribbled notes. Oh, and the aforementioned surround sound music.
- There would be a library too, of course, with several great chairs, a fireplace, a window seat, and books covering the walls. This would also be my bedroom.
- Moving from the topic of lodging to technology, a dream recorder would be great for ideas.
- As well as a thought recorder.
- And a telepathic keyboard that writes out a scene just as we imagine it instead of making us labor word through word.
- A visual storyboard would be nice too. One that would play our story in color, with dramatic music in the background.
- Food. A stash of chocolate would be grand, as well as ice cream and cheesecake. Yogurt too, since one ought to eat something healthy. And fruit. Like strawberries and blueberries.
- Some writers would also include coffee. Or tea. I’d prefer hot chocolate and pink lemonade.
- Then there are the baths. Hot tubs and showers and whirlpools for brainstorming.
- Also an endless supply of pens and paper. Notebooks and notecards. Envelopes and bookmarks.
- And… costumes. Ranger costumes. Futuristic dress. Swords and bows and guns and daggers. Because sharp and shiny things should be acquired at every chance one gets.
- Finally, one needs other writers. Just a few. Good friends, all with their own chambers and a central meeting room for when they want to interact with others.
If you could choose one thing from this list, what would it be? What sorts of things would you add to this list?
I’ve watched all the Studio C skits and have many favorites. But some of the ones I love best have to do with writing.
Firstly, here’s one of the first Studio C’s I ever saw:
Then there is this fantasy skits:
When your characters don’t listen:
And this recent skit reminded me of authors’ treatment of characters:
And the truth about fairy tales:
And…the truth behind bestseller lists:
So, do you enjoy Studo C? Which one of these is your favorite?