Eight Paradoxes of the INTJ

For those of you into MBTI, my personality type is INTJ. For those of you not into personality types, this basically means I’m sarcastic, I don’t show emotion, and I plan. Everything.

I love personality type humor and pins, but so many stereotypes only show part of a picture or are just plain off. So I decided to write about eight of the paradoxes in my own life. These aren’t necessarily true for every INTJ but they will give you a picture of how my (and, possibly, other INTJs) think.

Mastermind yet scatterbrained

Take an example from the last few months. I will sit down and plan a top-secret surprise retreat for a friend. I’ll organize lodging, dates, meet-ups, and food. I’ll figure out the cost-per-person. And then lose that paper with what each person owes me and have to rewrite/refigure it out. Twice.

I’ll also put a book down multiple times a day and forget where it is. Or drive down the road and wonder if I remembered to pick up my car keys before realizing I actually need those keys before I can drive in the first place.

Caring yet distancing

I care about my people more than anyone knows. I’ll die for them or give time and money to help them. I’ll hold a door open for a stranger or pick something up for a lady who dropped it.

But humanity in general? I mean, yeah. They’re people and I guess I acknowledge them in an abstract way? But I can’t take care of all of them and I don’t try. So why even worry too much about it unless they are part of a situation right in front of me?

INTJ (2)

Is right yet can be wrong

I don’t argue about things unless I ‘know’ I’m right. This is why I tend to not argue politics because there’s so much one simply doesn’t know and so many people saying so many things. If I wasn’t a writer, maybe I’d study politics.

But I am a writer.

If I argue something with you, it’s because I know I’m right. I’ve thought it through completely. However, if you can logically prove your case and I’m convinced of it, then I will shift.

Most times what happens is that I’m able to broaden what I know and include bits of what the other person is debating into what I already know to be true.

Longsighted yet shortsighted

I think big picture and long term. I’ll move through a situation, automatically playing out all the ways it could go right and wrong, and what I would do and how it would work if any of those scenarios happened. This picture shifts by the minute as things actually do happen. Or, when someone asks a question, I tend to merge both ‘given’ answers together into a third and better solution.

I can also be completely oblivious to solutions right in front of my face. Like my nunchucks. I’d hung them behind my desk and every time one of my brothers walked into the room he’d grab them and I’d have to wrestle them away. It was quite aggravating. It took me a whole week and a half to realize I could just move them so he couldn’t find them when he walked in.

I moved them.

 Self-confident vs overthinking

So there’s this thing called being perfect. INTJs attain to that. People make mistakes, yes. But we’re much more forgiving of those mistakes in others than in ourselves.

We are quite confident we can do what needs to be done. Whatever you propose, we’re probably going to do it, because of course we can and if we can’t then we’d better learn. However, once we’ve done it, we go over it play by play and wonder what could have been done better. What got messed up? Where did we make mistakes and how can it be avoided next time?

As a side note, success in the INTJ life is pretty much how things ought to go while mistakes are counted as failures. And our minds are a constant mix of ‘I can do anything’ and ‘I actually can’t get the simplest things right.’

*eyes mind*

We have problems. But we’re still right.

Doesn’t care what others think vs avoiding confrontation

People can think what they want and be wrong. It honestly doesn’t matter. Unless it’s a very select few people, what someone thinks is immaterial to what I’m actually going to do.

But there’s no point in creating confrontation unless it’s an important topic and something I feel very strongly about. I’m already right. It’s going to take way too much effort to convince the other side that I’m right, and they don’t care anyway. So they can be wrong in their wrongness and I might restrain myself (in their sight) to keep them contented, then do what I please once I’m on my own.

In other news, INTJs are the humblest creatures on this green earth.

 Feeling emotions vs showing them

We. Feel. Things.

All the time.

Yes, INTJs feel emotions. They might suppress them because they aren’t logical or because we don’t understand them. I have a theory we might actually feel some things deeper than other people because we overthink the emotion and delve to the bottom of it—and end up throwing up our hands in despair anyway because there isn’t any logic we can ground ourselves in about said emotion.

We feel emotions, but any emotion you see on our faces will be very underplayed. Emotions are precious, private things only for those who understand us. No one else needs to know what we are actually thinking or feeling. Besides, how many people actually care?

If an INTJ opens up and shows you something about themselves, pay attention. They aren’t going to demand your attention. But if you don’t even notice, they are much less likely to ever do it again, because their assumption that it honestly doesn’t matter has been proved right.

And if it doesn’t matter, they aren’t going to break themselves further and show that side of themselves again.

 Childishness vs internal dignity

We kinda do what we want and it is very subjective in our own minds.

I will walk a hotel barefoot at night and laugh at myself while doing it, but I will not engage in a burping contest with you. If I view something as beneath my dignity, I’m not going partake in it.

It doesn’t matter if you think my mismatched socks or weird outfit are beneath my dignity. If I don’t think it matters, then it doesn’t matter. If I do think it is childish, then I’ll not do it even if everyone else is.

Our internal sense of dignity is a very real thing and must be satisfied above the options of those outside of us.

Again. We are very humble creatures. As you can see from all of the above.


And there you have it. A very incomplete, partial list of eight facts about INTJs (or this one, at least). What are some stereotypes about your type that aren’t true and what is the actual truth behind them?

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A Hiatus – Kinda

You all know I tend to try to do a lot. My friends know I tend to do too much. I mean, rifts take it, I know I try to do too much.

So this is me trying to act like a normal human and relax a little (aka. I have an insanely busy summer and want to enjoy it, not end up on the other side half-dead from exhaustion.)

I’m taking a hiatus from writing for a few weeks, then only have a minor workload until August. I’m also only going to post once or twice here on my site between now and then. And newsletters. I’m taking a break for a few weeks from even those.

I will still be filming and uploading my vlogs. Probably. Because I’ll be at new places, like the Story Embers Staff Retreat next week, and I want to put together snippets from there. So follow my channel here to keep updated on all that.

Also, I’ll be posting on Instagram. So you can follow me there if you want to keep up to date on what I’m doing during my break.

Or you can just forget about me in silence. That’s up to you.

Until next time and have a grand summer!

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Controlling Your Own Life (and actually getting things done)

Confession time: I don’t actually whip through projects as fast as some people seem to think. More than once I’ve gotten the question ‘how do you get so much done?’ I suppose for people watching me, it might be a logical question. For me, standing amid the chaos I like to call my life, I’m just like ‘what things? I’m getting things done?’

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April Poetry

Any poets here? *halfway raises hand* I don’t really know anything about poetry. But I enjoy writing free verse.

And apparently April is poetry month where one writes one poem a day. So I decided to try, because why not? It’s been a challenge but it’s also fun. And I find myself writing all these little random things I wouldn’t have taken the time for otherwise.

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Claim your copy: Heroes Fall

So this was supposed to go out Friday. It didn’t, because of reasons.

Those reasons mainly involving me not planning my time well and running things too close to the deadline.

But… I have a short story for you all!

HeroesFallPromo copy

For some time I’ve been considering creating a new lead magnet for my newsletter. Basically, something free you get when you sign up. And this is it!

If you are signed up to my newsletter, you’ll have received an email with this short story earlier this morning. Otherwise, you can sign up here to claim your own copy!

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I’ve talked about it enough the past month.

In fact, I’ve talked about hardly anything else.


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It seems like a huge goal, but I think it’s doable. Last time I tried to sell 50 and got 30+. But last time I was selling the book for three times the price (a whopping $2.99. Imagine that. *evil laugh*). This time it’s a mere dollar which is like… less than you’d spend for nearly any snack.

The reason for this goal? If enough of you buy the book in a short enough time it goes up in Amazon algorithms. If it goes up, other people see it who don’t know about me and get it. I get to claim readers and spread my base of minions. And it goes from there.

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